A Day With Old Ladies

I spent much of the day today with my 93-year-old grandmother and her friends. I know I said last year that she was 93, but she really is 93 now. She gets around pretty well; just stopped driving last month. Today she had some very visible signs of old age: trouble keeping her balance, couldn't open the individualized packets of her new pills, thought the brand new toaster I had bought her for her birthday was broken, mistook a quarter for a penny.

Anyway, I hate the idea of getting old, as those of you who have read me for awhile know. I was sitting with Trudy, Dot, Judy, and Grandma at lunch, thinking the whole time that I never want to get this old. It was depressing. The exciting conversation for the day was how the front office people were taking everything out of the closets and out of the beauty salon and dumping it in the hall. "Fall cleaning for open house," Jo Ann said. "No, it's for the inspection," Trudy said. "Huh?' Dot said. (Dot can't hear a damn thing.) "No, it's for the open house," Jo Ann said again. "Well, I don't know what it's for"my grandma said, "but it's funny!" Ha ha ha ha. Ugh.

When the 12-yr-old waiter came to take my order, Trudy asked me, "Are you going to get the fresh bread?" I asked, "Fresh bread?" I had seen just "bread" on the menu. "Yes," she replied excitedly. "It's fresh out of the package!" "Huh?" Dot said. When I got my "fresh" bread, it was either as stale as week old bread or had been put in the toaster for a few seconds. It was very dry around the edges. I put butter on it to help it out. All the while, the four old ladies were oohing and ahhing over the fresh bread, including Dot, who had no idea what the hell she was oohing and aahhing about.

And then the exciting subject of bingo came up. You pay 50 cents, and when you win, you get a quarter. Some lucky lady at the place won 5 quarters this morning!

Just then, an extremely old woman came over to the table, patting everyone on the back and grinning. My grandmother introduced us. And as I was sitting there contemplating how I can painlessly keel over in my sleep before my 90s, the woman came over to me and said (I kid you not), "Look what YOU have to look forward to in the future! Someday YOU are going to be an old lady just like US!"

"Do you want that coffee to go? the 12-year-old waiter asked Dot. "Huh?" asked Dot. "He said do you want your coffee to go? Do you want him to put your coffee in your walker?"Trudy asked. "Yes," said Dot. My grandmother leaned over and whispered in my ear. "Watch this," she said. "When Dot gets ready to leave, everyone at the table will get up with her and bring her her walker." Sure enough, when Dot tried to stand up, Jo Ann and Trudy stood at attention. Jo Ann rolled the walker over beside Dot. "I don't know how to drive this thing," Jo Ann said. Trudy pulled the chair out for Dot, while Dot painstakingly got up herself and grabbed a hold of the walker.

As we walked away, my grandmother said to me for the upteenth time, "No one ever leaves anyone alone at the table," my grandmother told me. "If everyone else is finished eating, we wait until the last person is done. It's our unspoken rule around here. We NEVER leave anyone alone."


I am poking fun at them today, but I am so glad that my grandma has these wonderful, old women to keep her company and be her friends and that they never leave her alone at the table.

Panhandler

I know you can't see his sign, but it says, "Family abducted by aliens. Need ransom." I would have given him money for his creativity if I had had any.

Saturday Six Meme

Name six of your favorite characters on Sesame Street and why.

1. Grover - my favorite above all because he is most like me. He is not too bright, but his heart is always in the right place. He is very compassionate to others.

2. Cookie Monster - because he is just too darn cute the way he talks and obsesses over cookies.

3. Big Bird - because he (she) is monstruous in size and should be threatening to little ones, but his big heart and empathy make up for it.

4. Mr. Hooper - I loved Mr. Hooper so much. I was so sad when he died. A shopkeeper who keeps everyone in line, always a friend to others, what more could you ask for?

5. Bob - "Who are the people in your neighborhood?" "One shape is not like the other." Songs I will never forget.

6. Not a character but a video - "Nine, nine, nine, nine, let's sing a song of nine. How many is nine?" "Nine coconut custard pies!!!!!" Funny the things you remember.

This Week

Well, this week has been horrible all around so far. Today is hump day, so maybe things will get better on the other side.

Halloween's Past

When I was young, around 2nd or 3rd grade, my parents would let me go trick or treating with friends, no parents. It was so different back then. My friends and I would trick or treat for a few blocks, and then without our parents' knowledge, we would hike FAR AWAY (giving up the chance to stock up on candy) to a house where there was a woman dressed like a witch, stirring her witch's brew in a big kettle. She was always there, surrounded by fake spider webs and scary sound effects. If my parents had any idea how far I went, I would have been whipped.

One year in my new neighborhood, I dressed up as a TV set. My rabbit ear antennae kept getting caught in small trees between houses, kids were turning my knobs, and I could barely see out of the slit I had cut in the "screen." When I got back home from trick or treating, my dad had a special request of me. On my screen I had written, "Channel 2 News." My dad knew that a guy in our subdivision worked for Channel 2, so he INSISTED we walk all the way to this guy's house, and it was FAR!! We walked and walked and walked. All the people had now gone inside and turned their lights off, even this man. But my dad still made me go up and ring the stupid doorbell. He was trying to show me off. The guy answered the door and didn't even notice my screen, gave me the candy, and closed the door. All of that for nothing, no "wow" or "how clever," etc. that my dad wanted to hear.

Every year after trick or treating, my parents would drive me and my little brother about 7 miles away to my paternal grandparents' house. My parents would make us stand in front of the front door and ring the bell, while they "hid" off to the side. My grandfather would open the door and act surprised, "Wow, what a cute cowboy!" "What a cute TV Set!" "I wonder where THEY came from?" blah blah blah. Then we would take off our "masks" and say, "It's us, Pappy!" And then my parents would come out of hiding and we would go in. My grandfather would look through our candy stashes and pick out all of his favorite candies. I used to hate that part. As I grew older, I would pick out candies on my way to his house that I didn't want him to take away.

It was around that time that a boy died eating poisoned Pixie Stix. Turns out, his dad poisoned him. But Halloween just wasn't the same after that. Malls started having "safe" trick or treating. Churches started having "fall festivals." But by then, I had grown out of it anyway.

When my kids were little, we would take them trick or treating about a block or so, then take them to a party or carnival to play games, win prizes, etc. I wished I could give them the freedom I had when I was younger, but it just wasn't possible. Things were so different back then; or were they?

Wordless Wednesday Reply

Yes, it is a church where I am going to Jazzercise classes. I love the ivy around the arches. Just spoke to me.

Wordless Wednesday

Condo Model Photos - Our Floor Plan is Reversed

Sunday

Damn, we've had a great Sunday! We woke up late and snuggled for about an hour; then J hinted she wanted me to fix her breakfast. I love cooking for her. After breakfast we were going to go to the grocery store, but went back to bed until after noon. When we finally made it to the grocery store, we actually didn't argue about shopping. I helped her carry the groceries upstairs, and then it was time to make her lunch. We had an awesome salad with Asian/ginger dressing and later some dirty rice and hominy. Now she is finishing the newspaper and watching the Texans WIN!!! After the game, we will watch movies and play a game. Then watch the Amazing Race tonight, TOGETHER ON THE COUCH! And to think I used to dread Sundays!

Notice I didn't say anything about packing! We aren't moving into our condo until November 14th, so we have time. All the DVDs and CDs are packed. There really isn't anything else to pack so early, I don't think.

Hopefully, I am starting Jazzercise Wednesday. Tomorrow we find out whether or not I need radiation, so please pray or pass positive thoughts our way.

I have been reading your blogs. Leo - I really like your passworded blog. Your honesty in your writing is wonderful. Rebecca, I miss your postings. Where the heck are you?

I Miss J

I miss J so much, it's not even funny. She is my life. When she is not with me, I am lost. Am I crazy? Am I obsessed? I miss her loving arms around me. I miss her teling me she loves me. I miss her telling me that I am the only one for her. PLEASE bring her home to me Safely. I am so scared that she is going to be in an accident.

1. What is the color of your toothbrush? Purple
2. Name one person who made you smile today. J
3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning? Trying to sleep
4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Marinading a chicken
5. What is your favorite candy bar? 3 Muskateers
6. Have you ever been to a strip club? yes
7. What is the last thing you said aloud? "Thanks" to the cashier
8. What is your favorite ice cream? Dutch Chocolate
9. What was the last thing you had to drink? Diet Dr. Pepper
10. Do you like your wallet? Don't have one.
11. What was the last thing you ate? eggs
12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? No, but hope to.
13. The last sporting event you watched? Houston Texans football game
14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? Movie theater with lots of butter
15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? J
16. Ever go camping? Yes, when I was a kid.
17. Do you take vitamins daily? No
18. Do you go to church every Sunday? No
19. Do you have a tan? No
20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza? Yes
21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? Yes
22. What did your last text message say? "Groceries $28.08."
23. What are you doing tomorrow? Don't have a clue
24. Favorite color? Purple
25. Look to your left; what do you see? a wall (boring meme; isn't it?)
26. What color is your watch? Gold
27. What do you think of when you hear “Australia”? kangaroos and koalas
28. Would you strip for money? no
29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? usually drive thru
30. What is your favorite number? single digit - 9; multi-digit 11228052522725
31. Who’s the last person you talked to on the phone? my dad
32. Any plans today? wash clothes, pack, clean, cook dinner
33. In how many states have you lived? 1
34. Biggest annoyance right now? allergies
35. Last song listened to? Taylor Swift's latest single
36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? It would take me awhile
37. Do you have a maid service clean your house? No, but where we are moving to, we will get maid service onece a month.
38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? white crocs right now
39. Are you jealous of anyone? yes
40. Is anyone jealous of you? yes, everyone
41. Do you love anyone? every day with all my heart, yes
42. Do any of your friends have children? Yes
43. What do you usually do during the day? sit in front of the computer, answer the phone, feed people
44. Do you hate anyone that you know right now? no
45. Do you use the word hello daily? yes
46. What color is your car? black
47. What size wedding ring do you wear? 7
48. Are you thinking about someone right now? yes, J.
49. Have you ever been to Six Flags? yes
50. How did you get your worst scar? c-section

Wordless Wednesday - Okay, Five Words. Sorry

One Year Ago Today - The Best and Worst Day of My Life

WORST:



One year ago today, around 7:00 a.m., I kissed my sleeping daughters in their beds for the very last time. I whispered in their ears, "Don't ever forget that I love you." But they just nodded and mumbled, "Love you, too", fast asleep.



My garbage bag was packed in the trunk from the night before with five changes of clothes.



After I kissed the girls, I didn't even stop to look around the house at: the "home" that I had basically "created" by myself, as a mother does for her family. The painted walls that took me and my two girls an entire month to paint. The home decor, not that there was that much of it. My Emmett Kelly, Jr. clown collection, the kitchen, stocked with every kind of gadget you could imagine, with recipes, spices, and sun reflectors in the window. The huge DVD collection that the girls and I had collected together and would stay up until all hours of the night watching, before falling asleep in the den. The pool where so many pool parties and cookouts were held countless times each summer. The school room where we had done homeschooling for 10 years. The girls' bedrooms that I would never see again. None of it would I ever see again, and I never stopped to even look. It was too painful.



I petted my beloved two-year-old Shih-Poo that slept with me each night one last time and said "goodbye" to the cats. I walked out the door, and I never looked back at the house. Got in my van and drove away, towards work, in a daze, holding back tears and then letting them just flow.



BEST:



J picked me up around 7 p.m. after I told ex that I was leaving him and the girls and why.



She drove me away from: the walking on eggshells, the countless nights of drinking myself into oblivion, taking way too many pills, my children begging me to stop, a husband who had no earthly idea what was wrong, what to do with me, how to make it work. Away from a church and community where I was lying to everyone about who I am and what I believe.



J drove me to: a hotel, where we talked for hours, her holding me while I cried my eyes out. A place where I finally felt loved, safe, accepted, home, really home. ME. I was where I was supposed to have been since 1979.



TODAY:



Things are not as rosy as I thought they would be one year later. BUT my children are talking to me and seeing me again. My family is including me in family events. My daughter made it through her senior year, even through all the emotional turmoil she was going through. My ex and girls are finally in a more stable environment. I have come out to my friends (most of them - lost all but two of them) and family (most of them). I am in a new job where I would probably not be fired for being gay. (I was teaching in a small, private school before) I fall asleep and wake up in the arms of the most beautiful, wonderful woman in the world, who cares for me, loves me, believes in me, adores me. (I dont' know why.)



MY HOPES FOR THE NEXT YEAR: (I will check in one year later and see how many came true.)



I am going to set my hopes super high, knowing that all of my expectations will not be reached, but what the hell's the problem with hoping?



That my oldest daughter will tell me she loves me.

That I will be able to come out to my maternal grandmother.

That J's mom will be more comfortable around me, allowing me to spend time with her, even if it is just dinner in a public place. (Actually, she might prefer a more private place. LOL)

That J's sister and I become closer. I always wanted a sister.

That J and I will be allowed to spend at least ONE HOLIDAY together with either her family or mine.

That I can wear my wedding ring around my family.

That J and her mom grow closer.

That one or both of my daughters would attend our church with me.

That my children would believe that I am not going to hell. OH, AND THAT THEY WOULD LEAVE THE CHURCH THEY ARE IN and join a more liberal church. (Now, THAT will take a miracle!)

That I can feel comfortable in our church as me and become actively involved with the children there, or that God uses me in other ways at the church.

That J and I will finally be able to tell the world that we had our commitment ceremony in March.

That somehow my secret will slip out to my boss and he will be okay with it.

***That my children will meet J and like her and want to be around both of us at the same time. (I think this is my biggest wish of all, because if they could see how happy J and I are together, or how happy I am with J, at least, I think their feelings for me might change. I want them to be more of a part of our lives. I don't want to live the "divorced dad" lifestyle anymore.)

I made it through today and have not cried once. Thanks for listening blogspot friends.

Avoid Cleaning House Day

What is the point of this song?

By Paul Simon

(Ooohh..)

When I was a little boy (when I was just a boy)

And the Devil would call my name (when I was just a boy)

I'd say "Now who do, (who-oo)Who do you think you're fooling?" (when I was just a boy)

I'm a consecrated boy (when I was just a bo-o-o-y)I

'm a singer in a Sunday choir (oooh)

Oh my mama loves me, she loves me

She get down on her knees and hug me (ahh a-a-ah)(oh)She loves me like a rockS

he rocks me like the rock of ages

And loves me

She love me, love me, love me, love me

When I was grown to be a man (grown to be a man)

And the Devil would call my name (grown to be a man)

I'd say "Now who do, (whooo)Who do you think you're fooling?" (grown to be a man)

I'm a consummated man (grown to be a ma-a-a-n)

I can snatch a little purity (oooh)

My mama loves me, she loves me

She get down on her knees and hug me (ahh a-a-ah)(oh)

She loves me like a rock

She rocks me like the rock of ages

And loves me

She love me, love me, love me, love me

And if I was the President (was the President)

The minute that Congress called my name (was the President)

I'd say "Now who do, (whooo)Who do you think you're fooling? (who do you think you're fooling)I've got the Presidential Seal (was the president)

I'm up on the Presidential Po-o-dium (oooh)

My mama loves me, she loves meS

he get down on her knees and hug me(oh)

She loves me like a rock

She rocks me like the rock of ages

And loves me

Fade out:She love me, love me, love me, love me(loves me like a rock)

Who wants to be loved like a rock?

Rocks are ignored.

Rocks can't eat, sleep, talk or move.

Rocks are kicked.

Rocks are thrown.

Rocks are climbed with sharp pick axes.

They have no feelings.

On the othe hand:

A diamond is called a rock.

Rocks can be painted.

There used to be pet rocks.

Firm foundations are built with rock.

Famous monuments are built with rock.

Jesus is my rock.

Yeah, maybe I would like to be loved like a rock after all.

The Amazing Race

J and I have discussed tonight that if we ever went on The Amazing Race together, we would divorce.

Today was a monumental day: J and I both joined and came out on Facebook. Wow! It feels good, but WOW!

J's Birthday Party

I still have not figured out how to move pictures around on this blog. They all end up in one lump, and I am typing on the upper right-hand side of the window. When I click and drag, there is nowhere to drag them to because the window is small and I can't click the down arrow at the same time.

So.... here are some photos in random order of J's party.

I am thinking of closing this blog, so if there are some old photos you want, you ought to grab them now.

In Memory of Mary Travers

Job Meme

I wrote a meme to celebrate my new job. Please answer about your current job only. For more info about memes, go to this site:

http://thedailymeme.com/what-is-a-meme/

1. How did you get this job? J knew the person who was leaving, and they needed to fill her spot.

2. What is the most interesting thing about your job? I am learning a little bit about the law. When I get a chance, I like to take a peak at some of the cases. Man, people will sue others over the stupidest things!

3. What is the stupidest thing you have to do on the job? Stack the magazines in three perfect stacks on the coffee table

4. What is the most boring thing you do on the job? Stand at the water cooler and fill the water pitchers

5. What has been your klutziest moment on this job? Running into my bottom drawer when it is open. My right leg and foot are bruised from doing this over and over.

6. Do you use scissors on your job? Yes.

7. Do you travel for your job? If so, how many miles per week/month? No, but it would be nice to get out of the office once in awhile.

8. How much weight do you have to lift? No more than 20 lbs

9. Do you listen to music on the job? If so, what kind? Contemporary Christian with my boss's NPR in the background

10. What do your co-workers think of you? That I am a dumb blonde

11. Do you handle money on the job? Yes, checks only, please.

12. Are you the big boss on the job, or do you want to be? No. No. I have been a boss before. It does not suit my personality.

13. Do you shake hands on the job. Yes, and I use LOTS of hand sanitizer.

(If your answer is "yes" to the above question, be careful. It's swine flu time!)

Waking Up Is Hard To Do